Ok so today I was supposed to study[yet again] but kept postponing it. Yeah learned smt like this is psych about avoiding stress.. Which so applies to me. So I took out my AAP martini book n placed it on my desk. sat down. yawned n sighed was the first thing I did. HAIIIZZZ. Then my mum made me a homemade Macs sausage mcmuffin /w egg. lol. While eating it, I watched Simpson. Saw it before but what the heck. flipped the book here n there.. studied abit..
Then I was like OK LETS REALLY REALLY START while I entered my room but it totally did not happen. I detoured to my brothers room to DL songs, check email, play with the organ n my 7year old game boy which I saw on the desk. Walked around the house aimlessly, watched mtv-saw bsb n marion raven new video[haha], ate dinner, chocolates, biscuits, more Simpson re-runs at 6oclock. I cant believe I still laugh at it even if I've seen it like 3 times. it was about bart telling his mother y they need to buy new church shoes when Jesus wore sandals. hehhhhh. by then it was 7 plus pm. Then heard Ross voice on tv n i knew it was 7.30 already n it was time for FRIENDS on starworld. lol.
i dont understand why i need to take it or continue with it when i dont want it in any part of my life anymore. i regret the decision i made months ago n still want to go to the place i always wanted to but i cant. i hope i get my other alternative route out of here so i dont have to be so upset whenever i think about it. what if the alternative dont work out? what am i supposed to do? i still rather be anywhere but here coz i doubt nothing or no one is holding me back...err rite? just tell me. i wanna know. i hate it whenever i think about it.